My obsessive and idioticness will be my downfall. I need to forget about him and try to live my life. I need to move on but I know that won't happen. I'm going to stay on the sidelines and worship him from afar. I'll never get over my idioticness and hate myself forever. I'll never ever give up on him and always secretly hope he will decide to be with me. Even if he marries her I'll still hope. I'll drive myself insane and eventually loose any chance at happiness. My heart will stay in the year 2004 up until September when I became a complete idiot. My fear of being hurt by him caused me to do the damage instead. If I wasn't such an idiot I wouldn't hate myself so much.